Thursday, March 15, 2012

Get Lucky

Imagine an absurdly tight green T-shirt on a guy you've never met, emblazoned with a leprechaun, several four leaf clovers, and the words GET LUCKY.  It's St. Patrick's Day and this man has just waltzed into your house with a six pack of beer in hand, sporting what I can only describe as a green plaid cabbie's cap.  As he approaches the friendly faces around the kitchen, the first words out of his mouth are, "Hey guys.  Note to self...when buying a T-shirt, you might want to try it on first."  His eyes are kind, emanating a mischievous sparkle as he lets out this wonderfully contagious laugh.  Little did I know that this stranger, this self-proclaimed tight T-shirt wearer would one day be my husband.


This is the story of how Rich and I met.


In 2008, I purchased a beautiful, fully restored  Queen Anne Victorian in the diverse (meaning sometimes hip, sometimes scary) neighborhood of East Nashville.  I'd been living in a townhouse my ex-husband and I purchased in 2004 in the coveted 12th South neighborhood, but I felt it was time for a change.  I wanted a place where I could entertain, that was open and inviting, had character, but was still modern.  After looking at several possibilities with no spark, the minute I walked into this house, I knew it was the one.  Amazingly tall ceilings, crown molding, white oak floors throughout, a coffered ceiling in the kitchen, three brick fireplaces, stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, a huge backyard with a lot of possibility....wow.  


Two hard working gentleman about my age, Shane and Chris, had taken the property on as a real estate investment, looking to renovate it with the thought that Shane and his wife would move in.  Because of this, the house wasn't your typical flip.  They took great care with the details and there was obvious pride in their work.  They were extremely smart and resourceful-- in fact, they came into some perfectly good granite that a snooty high-rise development downtown wouldn't use due to some silly, barely noticeable imperfections.  These guys took that granite off their hands for FREE.


During the months the guys worked on the house, they befriended the guy across the street.  That guy, Dave, is Rich's best friend from college.  When the guys came into this granite, they were looking for someone that could help them cut and install it.  In talking to Dave about it, he immediately thought of Rich.  Although he was currently in the depths of running his own steel fabrication business, he was in the granite business for about three months years earlier....hmmmm....would Rich be willing to help?  


Although open minded and ever willing to lend a hand, Rich wouldn't agree to help until he saw the project-- would it be worth his time?  Upon stepping through the front door, he was so impressed that he wished he could buy the house.  Of course he would help!  So, Rich showed the guys how to cut the granite and helped them install it.  He also engineered several other items in the house and became friends with Shane and Chris.


Flash forward to March 17th, 2008.  Closing day.  Upon signing the 100th piece of paper and promising my first born to Countrywide (ha!  joke's on them!), Shane shared with me that they were having a St. Patty's Day party at my house and asked if I would like to come.  (I know this sounds strange, but since I wasn't ready to move out of my townhouse right away and Shane and his wife needed someplace to rent, we brilliantly decided to switch places, with a move in date in April.)  People that worked on the house and neighbors would be in attendance.  I happily accepted, looking forward to meeting new faces.  


Of course, I had to have my wing women, so I asked my two best friends to join me.  Looking back, I love that two of my nearest and dearest were there to witness me meeting my future husband!


After flirting a little at the house party, I rolled with Rich and some other folks to 3 Crow Bar in Five Points.  It was there that Rich talked of WWII  (thus learning that he had his private pilot's license...very sexy) and bought us Irish car bombs.  He wasn't the kind of guy I usually went out with (not a musician or starving artist which was my preference for years after my divorce), but there was just something about him I couldn't ignore.  


After years of fielding the singles scene, I had sworn off accepting a date invitation by text.  I mean, who texts to ask a girl out?!  If you're really into me, pick up the phone and call me damnit.  But rules were made to be broken right?  The very next day, Rich texted, asking me if I wanted to go to dinner.  We made plans for the following night.  Thank goodness I made an exception to the "do not ask me out by text" rule!


We closed the restaurant down on that first date talking, laughing and really connecting.  Rich felt so comfortable to me, like I could breathe in and let my shoulders relax for the first time in years.  I left to go on a hard-earned President Club's Trip to Mexico that Sunday and we talked on the phone every single day.  My friend Jessica laughed and said, "He must be really into you because guys don't like to talk on the phone that much."  She was right.  He really did like me.  And I really liked him.  Our conversations were worth every penny of that subsequent $400 cell phone bill.  He's been an integral part of my life ever since.


We now live in the house the brought us together.  We have a beautiful son, two cats, a dog, wonderful neighbors, an ever-expanding circle of friends, and a whole lot of love for each other.  He is my best friend and soul mate.  I am so thankful for the convergence of forces that brought us together.


This Saturday marks four years of that fateful meeting.  We celebrate every year by hosting friends at our house with a traditional Irish meal, libations, music and a lot of laughs.  This year will be no exception.  In fact, we're looking forward to getting Ray into his celebratory green onesie. 


Rich, I love you.  Happy 4th Anniversary, babe.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Because of Sarah

Rich's best friend from college lives across the street.  Essentially, he's the reason we met in the first place, but that's a story for another time (it's a good one though!).  He met the most amazing woman New Year's Day 2010 and we now have the honor and privilege of calling her our friend and neighbor.  You know those rare instances where you feel an instant connection with someone, that you just KNOW you're on the same wavelength?  Well, Sarah is one of those people and I feel so good every time I spend time with her.


Sarah is a writer and with her innate inquiring mind, she asks the greatest questions.  While pregnant and glowing, she asked why I thought my pregnancy was going so well.  There were several things I listed off and after some additional probing, we moved on to another topic.


During a walk with her today, soaking up this incredible (yet freaky) springtime weather, she reminded me to blog about what I shared with her.  I know every woman is different and they experience pregnancy in their own way, but I have to tell you, I LOVED being pregnant.  (This is where those of you that had difficult pregnancies and really don't want to read my somewhat Pollyanna take on being a vessel for life can hit the little x at the top of your browser.)


Here is what I believe contributed to such a positive pregnancy experience for me:
  1. I am married to the most incredibly supportive husband and we were both in absolute agreement that we wanted to start a family.  He did whatever I asked of him (such as finishing projects to ease my ever increasing nesting anxiety, going to weeks of Bradley birthing classes, being open-minded to a home birth, letting me bring a new furry family member into our home....the list could go on and on!).  As far as husbands go, I really lucked out.
  2. I took supplements daily-- prenatal vitamins, omega 3s (sooooo important to get DHA for healthy brain development in babes!), vitamin D, calcium/magnesium (this helped tremendously with the night leg cramping) and the all important probiotics (helps ward off Group B strep and starts you and baby on the road to preventing thrush if you're breastfeeding).
  3. I religiously saw my acupuncturist.  I see an amazing woman that specializes in helping women become pregnant, guiding them through pregnancy and helping them recover postpartum.  Peggy at Five Element Acupuncture in Berry Hill has kept me balanced throughout what I know can be the biggest roller coaster ride of a woman's life.  
  4. We hired a doula and we absolutely adore her.  Not only was Jolynn an amazing birth partner (helping us prepare and guiding us through the labor process), she gives the most incredibly healing massages and incorporates energy work into the mix.  I saw her once a month for a massage my entire pregnancy and I think this is why I never experienced the kind of aches and pains that a lot of women experience.  
  5. Pet therapy.  Seriously.  We adopted a little dog, Milo, when I was in my 4th month and he's such a little comedian.  That dog kept me smiling and laughing throughout my pregnancy.  So much so that when we got to our birthing house and my contractions really started intensifying, I said to Rich in a whimper, "I miss Milo."  
  6. I didn't drive myself crazy with too much information.  I didn't read What to Expect When You're Expecting.  I stuck to devouring empowering birth stories from Spiritual Midwifery and anything else written by Ina May Gaskin.  Rich and I also read a book that showed Ray's development week by week.  That was it.  By limiting my intake of information, I was able to stay relaxed and keep positive. 
  7. I wasn't freaked out about consuming caffeine or having the occasional drink.  I kept my caffeine to one cup of coffee a day and after my first trimester, I did have the occasional glass of wine.   
  8. We empowered ourselves to make our own decisions regarding how we wanted our son to come into the world.  This required a lot of research on our part and being incredibly open minded, but what transpired with our home birth experience with The Farm Midwives was more than we could have hoped for.
  9. I felt the loving, reassurance presence of my grandmother throughout my pregnancy.  I was very close to my father's mother and when she passed in 2009, I missed her sooo much.  Still do.  My beloved grandfather passed one month after her.  They were the stuff old love stories are made of-- met on a blind date, married one month later, stayed married for 65 years "until death do we part."  It was because of her that we named our son Ray, after her father-- Ray Erwin.  I think she smiles down on us daily.
I'm so thankful for friends like Sarah.  Because of her, I was able to really reflect on this experience with gratitude.  Hopefully, there are little tidbits in here that could help another expectant mother.  

Sarah, I look forward to the day when that expectant mother is you.