Pregnancy License

Being pregnant is awesome.  Really.  There are so many things that I find myself doing that I would have NEVER (okay...let's be honest...hardly ever...) done in my non-pregnant state.  The beauty of all this is all you have to say is "I'm pregnant" or show your growing belly and all is forgiven.  It's a universal get out of jail free card!  For example:

• Burping.  I come from a long line of burpers, but this is just ridiculous.  They come out of me unexpectedly (many times in public places) and honestly, I giggle and love the fact that there's a really good reason for it.  I think Rich has started to block out the disgusting noises coming out of my upper half that are brought on by spicy foods, lack of air and heartburn...speaking of...
• Heartburn.  WTF?  I have NEVER experienced such discomfort in my chest and esophagus in my life!  They say that heartburn is a tell tale sign that you'll have a hairy child (um, have you seen my husband's chest wig?! This is pretty much a given...), but sleeping upright with tons of pillows has gotten out of control.  Oh, and forget antacids--they don't really help all that much. (Although I do prefer the natural kind made by Nature's Sunshine, Papaya Mint.)
• Farting.  Yes, I said it.  Many women claim that they don't fart, but you do in pregnancy and you will clear a room.  Unfortunately, Rich cannot block this out.  Bless him.
• Wardrobe choices.  Boots, leggings and a form fitting top?  Hell yes.  Would I have ever worn this pre-pregnancy?  Hell no.  There's a freedom that comes in dressing yourself each day because you just don't care anymore!  Comfort rules.
• Desserts.  Anyone that knows me well knows that I NEVER (okay, hardly ever) touched a dessert or sweet item pre-pregnancy.  I was more of a salty/savory girl.  Not now.  Holy crap.  If you have a piece of chocolate cake within 30 yards of me, I will tackle you for it.  No joke.  I've eaten candy bars for the first time in years...100 Grand, Snickers, Twix, you name it...I keep chocolate in the house at all times and am coming to grips with the fact that I may have a hot cocoa addition...(with whipped cream please!)
• Smells.  I'm addicted to aromatherapy.  Scent of choice?  Pure essential lavender oil.  I spray some on the bed linens before we go to bed each night (making sure I also spray a large dose above our dog, Milo...it relaxes him too!).  Again, this was NOT a ritual pre-pregnancy.
• Other smells.  Not so great smells.  My sensitive sniffer catches everything and my gag reflex is in full effect.  I actually throw up when catching wiffs of smells that used to never (okay, hardly ever) bother me.  Perhaps this is why I've only gained 12 pounds this entire pregnancy...Despite this little hiccup, they say our little one is growing and developing just fine, but Rich and I can't help but worry about the strong possibility of me having vile,  involuntary reactions to changing diapers.  Will we need to have a receptacle on the changing table lovingly labeled as "Mommy's Puke Bucket"?
• Cat litter.  Pregnant women can't go near it as we may contract toxoplasmosis.  Not good for me or baby.  The responsibility (and subsequent gagging) has fallen solely on my husband.  (I love you, Rich!)
• Nesting.  I've always been a big doer, but OMG...my pregnancy hormones have me (and thus Rich!) as productive as a meth addict scrubbing a bathroom floor with a Q-tip.  Have you seen our backyard?  It used to look like a scene from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and now it's an outdoor paradise.  Painting all done in baby's room?  Check.  Stanley Steemer out to sterilize and steam our hardwoods?  Check.  Potting plants and putting out decorative gourds and pumpkins?  Check.  (Totally unnecessary, but if feels so important to do!) Honestly, even though I feel like a crazy person sometimes, I loooove how much shit we're getting done!
• Boobs.  Having an abundance of them for the first time in my life really doesn't suck.  (Right honey?! ;))
• No filter.  As you can easily see by reading this post, I no longer have a filter.  It is gone.  I say whatever I think when I'm thinking it, no matter the environment or context.  Work, home, in public places, you name it.  I consider myself an honest person, but there are some things that just don't need to be said.  I apologize to anyone I've offended or taken off guard, but I'm pregnant.  Haven't you noticed?!